Love is in the air...

...Can you feel it? This past weekend was wonderful and wedding-filled. On Saturday Jared & I participated in the (mandatory) "Engaged Couples Retreat" at the Basilica. What we were initially dreading turned out to be a pretty good day with cool people, good food and interesting conversation. The topic of the day was "Temperament". Temperament by definition is "the combination of mental, physical, and emotional traits of a person; natural predisposition." Temperament runs deeper than personality, as it is just the natural tendencies that a person is born with. The marriage counselor opened the day by telling us that we were going to learn about our own temperament and that of our future spouse. She then followed by telling us, "You can't change your temperament, nor can you change anyone else's. So we have to learn how to accept our partner's temperament in full or we should not marry that person." Yikes! That scared me right off the bat! ...what if Jared finds out that I'm a complete lunatic!? :) kidding, kidding... maybe So anyway, the counselor and her husband talked to us about life, love, their own temperaments, and how they've learned to live with each other and love each other unconditionally over the years. They even said the word "sex"... in a church...and they're old. That kind of gave me the heebies. eww When they finally passed us our own temperament analysis (they made us take a test weeks before the session) Jared & I tore open the envelopes like kids on Christmas. Tell me who I am, God! And we were pleasantly...ehh...not surprised. Turns out we knew exactly who we were, and who each other were. Based on the analysis, everyone's temperament can be identified by three areas in their lives: Social, Control & Affection. Here are our results, in a nutshell (all numbers are on a scale from 1-10):

1. Social Needs: Jared & I both have a fairly high "need" to be invited/included in social events (both 7s). We like people to like us. However, I have a higher need to initiate social events or situations (me=8, he=4), so I need to realize he may not always be up for hosting a Sunday BBQ. He also needs to realize that because I have a slightly higher need for socialization, I'm going to be socializing without him once in awhile. We can handle that.
2. Control: This area surprised us more than any of the other categories. Before seeing our results, Jared assumed it was going to tell me that I'm a control freak. I mean, I do control a lot of the areas in our lives and relationship. But, I actually have a low need for control (4) and a higher want to have someone else in control (6). When we saw that, it suddenly made complete sense. I am ALWAYS asking for his or someone else's opinion before making a final decision on anything (and I mean anything). Deep down, I would love for someone to just make my life easier and tell me what to do. Jared, on the other hand, is kind of an "odd duck" in the control area. He has a VERY LOW need for control (1) but also a VERY LOW want to have someone else control him (1). So basically, it's very hard for Jared to make any changes in life because he doesn't want to take control of his actions nor does he want someone to take control for him. In conclusion, I have to accept the fact that I probably will always have to be the one to take charge, and he has to accept that I'm going to take charge. We can handle it, but this might be where we face the most challenges.
3. Affection: No problems here - we both had identical scores. We both have a high need for affection (7) and a high desire to give affection (8). Fun :)

So, that might be a little TMI, but this will be fun to look back on in 10 years and we can see how our temperaments "shook out".

Immediately following the retreat we rushed over to the Conservatory at Carlson for the wedding of our friends, Jake & Salwa. Jared was in the band with Jake for awhile, and we've all kept in touch through it all. The wedding was fabulous, the bride looked beautiful, the food was out of this world, and we all had on our dancing shoes. My favorite kind of night.

And to top off the weekend, on Sunday a bunch of my girls came over for a "Vegas Town hall Meeting" AKA planning session for Halloween weekend & my bachelorette in Vegas! It made us even more excited for the big weekend, and the girls gave me a sneak-preview of the dress they are making for me to wear on the night of my bachelorette. It is short, white, SUPER CUTE, and even better...compliments of the lovely Jenny Carle Designs.

Have I mentioned that I have the best friends in the world?