The Blizzard Diet

Today the wonderful and holy Dairy Queen was running a special where half of their Blizzard proceeds went to the Children's Miracle Network. Well now, what better excuse to get out of the office with your entire team and eat the guilt-laden Blizzard, than to save children!? So needless to say, I had a Blizzard for lunch. A banana split one. And it was delicious. You know, just saving the world, one Blizzard at a time. I think I was made fun of everyone on my team for buying such a boring, nasty, fruit-filled Blizzard. But I was thinking ahead, you see. With the wedding coming up, I have calories on the brain, and even the thought of eating a Blizzard horrifies me. So, like any borderline obsessive calorie counting bride would, I went on calorieking.com before we made the trip and discovered that a small banana split blizzard has less calories than all the rest, and comes in at a mere 440 calories. Score! So I ate that blizzard. I ate it good. I scraped the bottom of that paper cup hard with my spoon, and at the end even tipped it upside down to let every last creamylicious drop fall on my tounge. That's what she said. Then it was gone. Lunch was over. Usually that's the time when I head straight to the chocolate bowl for my 2 pieces of "desert". But, I didn't want any. Didn't I just have "desert", in a way? Hmm. Then 3'oclock rolled around, which usually means it's time for another piece of chocolate. But wait...I was still full from my Blizzard. Hmm. So 5'oclock finally came, and on my drive home I performed my usual ritual of thinking back to what I ate that day and how many calories I probably consumed. Normally there is a list of things: apple, yogurt, sandwich, granola bar, 3 pieces of chocolate...about 600 calories total, give or take. But today, the Blizzard stood alone, at a mere 440 calories. So from here on out, I'm going to go where no woman has gone before, and begin the Blizzard Diet. It satifies, eliminates the need for an afternoon desert, and even has 11 grams of protein. And if it works, I am bound to be more famous than Jared the Subway guy. 7 pounds and 8 months to go. Bring on the Blizzards...